Chuck Norris a spus: Vreau să văd lumea!

March 10, 2011   /   byCitadinul  / Categories :  Eclectice

Prima dată pe 10 martie 1940, aşa că azi împlineşte 71 de ani. Cam mult pentru un Texas Ranger dar neimpresionant pentru Chuck Norris.

Nu mă întint la poveşti că e dimineaţă aşa că trec direct la subiect, adică la Chuck Norris Facts! care practic i-au adus din 2005 încoace, mai multă celebritate decât zeci de ani de carieră de actor. Internet style!

Eu am ales pentru voi câteva ghiduşii în engleză, dacă ştiţi altele mai faine (în engleză română sau franceză) feel free to share!

Chuck Norris carries a watch just so time knows where he is.
Chuck Norris can make curtains out of the fabric of time.
When Chuck Norris runs, he goes back in time.
Chuck Norris can cook Minute Rice in 30 seconds.
Chuck Norris is never late….time is just early.
When Chuck Norris looks at a clock, time trys to tick away.
You heard the phrase, “For every action there is a reaction”. There is never enough time to react when Chuck makes an action.
TIME Person of the Year is also known as, “Chuck Norris would win it every year, but he’s not human.”
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid.
Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
Chuck Norris’ iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord
Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times
China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.
Multiple people have died from Chuck Norris giving them the finger.
Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his own head.
Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*** down.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
Chuck Norris does not procreate, he breeds.

Care din ”faptele” de mai suis vi se pare cea mai tare? Daca ati face un top cu cinci dintre aceste ghidușii, pe care le-ați alege, sau ați veni cu ceva nou?

Mie, sincer să fiu, mi-e cam greu să aleg dar parcă aș merge pe cateva din primele zece.

Oricum, încet. încet ne pregătim de aniversarea cu numărul 75, să fiți pe fază!

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